Let's get real here

I love my kids. I love my family. I love my country. But here's what I really love: 

The lock on my bathroom door. My kids would sit on my lap if I let them.
And on a related note, The small space under the locked bathroom door. When I have both kids pleading for my attention, cheeks pressed against the door and tears pooling on the floor, I can slip them a National Geographic opened to a photo of a mummified ice man's remains or a slaughtered reindeer on a kitchen table. And then they get really quiet.

Mom Tax. Want fruit snacks? Mom Tax says I get to steal one. Want chocolate milk? Mom Tax says I get the first sip. Want a TV show? Mom Tax says I get a big kiss and hug first.

The BOLD setting on my coffeemaker.

Soft, snug-fitting toddler jammies. There is nothing better than carrying around and snuggling with a monkey-limbed pencil topper. (Does anyone else remember these?)

Sweet red wine. You can sip and look sophisticated, and no one knows you're really drinking the taste-equivalent of Welch's grape juice...until they discover your bottle in the fridge and laugh at you. But you don't care because it's so delicious...and you're already one glass in.

*******
Rob also loves his kids, his family, his country. But here is what he answered when I asked him for his real "I'm thankful for" items:

The cool side of my pillow in the summer.

[I was a little concerned about the boringness of his upcoming list at this point. I needn't have worried]

Small, furry rodents.

Double-fried fries. [At my puzzled look, he explained, "You know, that ones that accidentally stay in the frier for an extra round and come out all brown and delicious?" At which point I thought, Shoot. I totally should have added that one to MY list. Along with spicy brats. And then all thoughts were interrupted by his last thankful item.]

Holding your ultra-soft and fluffy cat with your shirt off.

There are no words.

.