I walked 20 miles to school, uphill both ways, by cracky!

Know what I should be doing? Cleaning my house.

Know what I'm actually doing? Feeling fancy and writing a blog about it. (Fancy in a I'm-almost-80-years-old kind of a way. But, still. FANCY.)

So what do you give to your embarrassingly nerdy and overly practical sister-in-law who manages to misplace every personal object she owns?

A beaded eyeglass chain, of course.

Believe it or not, they'll actually sell these to non-retirees.

Normally while doing supper dishes I'd unintentionally mist my glasses with the sprayer, remove them without thinking, and then not find them in the potted plant (the most obvious place to put them of course) on the windowsill until three days later.

Tonight? They hung around my neck and didn't get lost.

And then when I put them on again to look through the coupons and grocery sales from today's paper, I felt...well...fancy. And the best part? I am recipient of this gerontological absurdity. I cannot be blamed.

(...until I combine it with a robe-on-clothes, brown poop scrunchie, crossword puzzle, and box of Good & Plenty as I plan on doing in about an hour.)

Youngsters these days.