November 16, 2011

Now that I know that you know that I know, let's move on.

Me. Now just add my real face and 13 layers of clothing.
So my sister Kayla unexpectedly walks in tonight with her friend Faith while I am cleaning up supper dishes. I give a surprised, "Well, hey! How are you?" and suddenly realize I'm wearing my somewhat fluffy, very-hard-to-miss white bathrobe on top of my clothes. Although I'm not embarrassed (the robe-over-clothes is waaay too essential to my "I'm at home, I'm cold, and I'm wearing perma-knee sweatpants anyways" wardrobe philosophy), I do feel as though this white, fluffy elephant in the room needs to be addressed. So I randomly announce, "I am wearing a robe...on top of my clothes" and continue to work on the leftovers.

Being a dork is one thing, but being unaware that you're a dork is another. Me? Completely aware.

So the important thing is not that I quickly remove my robe (I just don't care that much...sorry...), the important thing is that I make it known that I know that I'm a total dork. Voila. Awkward situation fixed.

It works well with my house, too. Someone says she is going to stop by later, and all it takes me stating, "My house is a train wreck." It implies that I won't do anything about it (true fact), and when she walks in and is shocked to find my half-dressed kids playing plastic animals on a mountain of dirty laundry and my cat vomiting another hairball into one of my shoes the kids are using as animal "canoes" (true fact)...well, she knows that I know my house is a disaster. I always wonder when someone doesn't say anything - do their kids normally live like savages in dirty laundry piles? Are there always vomit piles around the house? Does she not see that THIS IS HORRIFIC??

See? It makes a difference.

It also works well with gaining winter fat. A random announcement to Rob of "I've gained 8 pounds" can solve several problems. a) he knows I know - if I slowly grow rounder and rounder, it's not out of stupid, blissful ignorance. Oh, I know. b) I haven't actually promised to act on this knowledge - it's just a fact. So I can say it right before opening a box of Good & Plenty and it's not entirely absurd. And I can still eat the entire box.

This blog entry is lame. See? You know that I know. Now that it's stated, I don't have to erase this all and wait for something funny to happen at my house; you won't walk away thinking, Poor girl...she has no clue how much that awkward. Oh, I know.

By the way, I'm wearing a robe on top of my clothes.


Missy said...

Preach on girl!  Love it!

Linda Ciaravino said...

I do the 'robe over clothes' thing, too. SO much warmer than a hoodie!

cobandrob said...

Ha! AGREED!! :)