August 08, 2011

Hairy situation

So, I do believe I've had the two most awkward phone conversations with hair dressers ever.

2010, calling a day spa in Texas
Guy hair stylist: "Thank you for calling, can I help you?"
Me: "I'd like to make an appointment for a trim."
Hair stylist: "Sure! I'm actually free tomorrow at 2 - does that work?"
Me: "Great. Put me down."
Hair stylist: "Would you like a shave with that, too?"
Me [hesitantly]: "...a shave?"
Hair stylist: "We do straight razor shaves with our men's haircuts."
Me [blank, confused silence]: ....
Hair stylist: "Hello?"
Me [with dawning realization]: "Um... haha!...well... I'm actually a woman."
Hair stylist: "Oh. My. Goodness. I am SO sorry. Ah ha ha ha ha! I am SO SORRY. You really don't sound like a guy. Not very much at least. Ah ha ha ha! I am SO sorry. Embarrassing!! Do you want to go to someone else instead?..."
Side note: I know I've joked that I sound like a man when I hear phone messages played back, but...really? I did still get a haircut from the guy, and he spent the entire hour trying to make up for it by complimenting me and my hair so much so that I walked out of there feeling like a Greek goddess. Totally worth it. And my stroked ego tipped him well.
1998, calling a dorm-to-dorm traveling stylist
Woman hair stylist: "Hi... um... I'm returning a call from a Jacoba who left a message on my phone?"
Me: "This is she. I just need a trim - do you have any openings this week?"
Hair stylist: "Um... well... I'm not sure how to say this..."
Me [a little scared]: "...yeah?..."
Hair stylist: "I feel so horrible... Well, the truth is, I can't cut African American hair."
Me [blank, confused silence]: ....
Hair stylist: "...I'm'll have to go somewhere else."
Me [still unsure how this pertains to me]: ....
Hair stylist: "I'm really sorry."
Me [with dawning realization]: "Oh ha ha ha ha! Wow. Ha ha ha! Well, this might be even more awkward when I tell you that I'm white. Green, even, during the winter."
Hair stylist: "Oh. My. God. I am SO sorry. I didn't mean to assume you were black. I mean, not that it would be bad if you were black. Except it would be bad because I couldn't cut your hair. But not because I don't like black people. Your name just sounded, well- ...But I really I-... I give up. Nevermind."
Side note: aaaand she hung up. And never called back.

However, my latest haircut turned out quite nicely, I think.


Ellis Swingen said...


Ken Sytsma said...

Looks like you needed that straight razor shave though . . .

Amy Christianson said...

Not gonna lie, I probably would've hung up and never called back too.