Super or psycho...take your pick

Google image typical first born and this is what you'll get:

(And if you have any inclination to go and verify this on Google, there's a 98.2% chance that you, too, are a first born. I have the inclination to do so as well...and I'm fully aware that I'm the one making up this bogus fact.) According to birthorderandpersonality.com, a first born usually falls under either a set of compliant traits or aggressive traits, and I, the totally awesome person that I am, completely encompass the entirety of all traits listed. To the T. I'm just that super ...as in super complicated...and super confusing...and super you never know what you're gonna get.

So this is how dinner goes down at our house:
Jacoba: I'm totally beat. I didn't plan anything for supper, so what do you want to do?
Rob: What do you feel like?
Jacoba: I really don't care...anything in here look good? I just want to sit - let's order something.
Rob: Here, I'll make something. Sit down.
Jacoba: OK!! I really don't care what you do. Hey, Silas, want to read a book?
*2 minutes later*
Jacoba: [from the other room] What are you making over there?
Rob: Fajitas.
Jacoba: But what are you chopping? Don't use any new onions - there's one in the fridge!
Rob: I'm chopping a pepper.
Jacoba: I don't know...that pepper looked a little suspect. Did you cut out the bad spots?
Rob: [no answer]
Jacoba: I don't know what that means. Please don't make me get up.
*1 minute later*
Jacoba: Now what are you chopping?
Rob: [no answer]
Jacoba: Make sure you use that onion from the fridge! Rob? What are you chopping?
Rob: Just chopping.
Jacoba: It's a potato, isn't it? You know I don't like potato in my fajitas.
Rob: [no answer]
Jacoba: Seriously, honey, don't put potatoes in mine.
Rob: I thought you said you don't care what you ate!!
Jacoba: I don't! As long as you use the old onion and the not-gross pepper and no potatoes!
Rob: Well, why don't you just do it then?
Jacoba: [coming into the kitchen] OK. Here, give me the knife. You have to chop these finer.
Rob: GO SIT DOWN. I have this!!
Jacoba: [sulking] Geez, you act like I'm psycho or something.
Rob: [no answer]

I'm annoyed at myself just typing this. Oh, Jannika. You have no hope at all.