Rob makes pancakes

http://nikas-culinaria.com/2008/04/12/apotheosis/

My last blog entry reminded me of another kitchen conversation, one that is personally satisfying as it gives some context to what appears to be my overly-aggressive and anal kitchen tendencies...84% of which is somewhat reactive to a certain husband who demonstrates much zeal and little focus in the kitchen. (And maybe it would help to mention that my husband is the baby of his family, and while he entered college with a classical education and the ability to never study and yet still ace tests, he had never - not once - made anything non-microwavable in his life, including mac and cheese. He's come a long way.)

I actually wrote down this conversation years and years ago when we were first married (and you have an abbreviated version here; remarkably...there was more) just for my own "Seriously, Rob?" personal enjoyment. I shall call this Rob Makes Pancakes.

Rob: Hey, I'll make pancakes this morning for us!

Jacoba: Alright, but whatever you do, do NOT get the floor dirty because I just washed it yesterday. Don't do any mixing or measuring near the edge of the counter.

Rob: OK.  Is this flour? (holding up a tiny canister of powder sugar)

Jacoba: Um, no.

*two minutes later*

Jacoba: Stop. Using that measuring cup will not work - flour is just going to go everywhere.

Rob: (keeps going - flour is getting everywhere)

Jacoba: Stop.

Jacoba: Stop.

*two minutes later*

Rob: Is this baking powder?

Jacoba: There is baking powder and baking soda - read the label.

Rob: It says baking soda. Is it baking powder?

Jacoba: Does it say baking powder? Read the label.

Rob: It says baking soda. Can't I just use it?

Jacoba: Seriously, honey? NO.

*two minutes later*

Jacoba: Why is there sugar all over the floor?

Rob: You said to refill the sugar canister.

Jacoba: But why did you do it right on the edge of the counter??? Why can't you be normal and not make a mess? (cleaning the floor for the 2nd time)

*two minutes later*

Rob: How do you oil the griddle?

Jacoba: Pour a little on it, spread it around with a paper towel. 

Rob: (starts oiling the griddle)

Jacoba: Make sure you put that paper towel on a plate or something, otherwise oil will get everywhere.

Rob: OK. (puts the paper towel down on photographs I've just ordered to fill picture frames)

*ten minutes later*

Jacoba: (somewhat sullen and sulky) These pancakes are pretty good.

Rob: (grinning) Thanks.

And being the generous person he is, I can probably guarantee that he did the dishes afterwards, too. And then I probably came by and rewashed the still-clinging pancake chunks.