So this isn't Rob's doctor story. (There is suddenly an intense cloud of CO2 somewhere in the Greater DFW Metroplex where Rob is breathing a huge sigh of relief.)
(I promised him he could edit/ban/digitally burn it first before I published it. That's like two steps too many for me not to procrastinate.)
But I was going to share (while I should be getting Silas dressed for preschool) this weird little thing that happened in our house - you've heard a portion of it HERE before in "The Rapist in My Boxspring" last November.
"Preface 2: This is me not being glib for 30 seconds. Ready, go! --> So I'm fairly certain Silas saw an angel about a month ago. It was the night Rob was gone (and I wrote this - it comes with a fantastic spreadsheet, if you haven't read it... dang it! GLIB.) Non-glib attempt #2: Yes, so anyways, Silas came down in the morning, asking me about the "big yellow thing" and had I seen it and what was it. Long story short, he saw something big and bright and yellow standing by the side of his bed in the middle of the night, and all Silas kept saying with intense earnestness (and a big smile on his own face) was, "He SO happy. SO happy. He look at me and was happy. And then I close my eyes and open them and he gone! You see it, Yanka? You see it, mommy? Where he go? He SO happy!" All day long he talked about it. Whether it was an actual vision or a stunning dream, it brought such comfort to Silas (who is petrified of the dark) that I just have to assume it was sent by God to bring comfort and make His presence known. To try again to make a long story short, I've been thinking about angels and spiritual warfare lately. How could you not if your 2 1/2 year-old son saw something that impacted him SO much? (Wow. That was a heavy and involved preface. Aaaand back to glib - go!)"
While I was intensely curious about the whole thing, I tried not to ask questions or bring it up in conversation so as not to start interfering with Silas' memory of it - I wanted it pristine, unaffected by any of my presuppositions or human contrivances. If it was just a dream, I didn't want to make more of it than it actually was; if it was a vision, I didn't want to put any of my fingerprints on it. So it sat for a month, occasionally mentioned in passing by him, and then he one morning he came down and described it further:
I grew up in a Christian tradition that didn't really talk about these kinds of things. Like, it was always possible God could reveal himself somehow (I mean, God can do anything), but He just didn't do it that often. Or to people like us.
Talk about throwing me for a loop.
So, there The Yellow Thing sat for another year, still mentioned occasionally by Silas and inquired about by Jannika. And when Silas came down early this morning, scared to death of some rumbling noise he heard while in his room, I tried soothing him by talking about how God was right with him.
S: Yeah. God's there. But sometimes he gets busy talking to Jesus.
Me (again wishing I had a camera that would capture all the funny things my kids say): No, he's pretty awesome. He can talk to Jesus AND be in your room, keeping you safe, at the same time.
S, thinking hard: Yeah. He's like blowy wind - you can't see him.
Me, trying to think of something that would make more of a mental picture: Sometimes God sends angels to protect people - remember Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego? There were three of them, but when people looked into the fire, they saw FOUR people in there? That was probably an angel God sent to keep them safe. You don't have to be scared in your room, you know.
S, sitting up with excitement: THAT'S what The Yellow Shadow was!! It was an angel! I don't know why he had an animal face, but he was smiling and nice!! Do you remember when I saw that?
Me: I do remember - you were the only one who saw it though. Sometimes God sends special messages to special people - I've never gotten any message like that! Maybe He has really big plans for you. Or maybe He knew you were scared and needed to feel safe.
S, thinking hard again: Yeah, God thinks I'm special.
***
Who knows what he saw - whatever it was made a deep impression on a little guy. I just get to imagine it from a distance (and pray that God sends me a special message some other way...otherwise I might just pee in my own bed...and blab about it to the rest of the world here) and wonder what it all means.
Here's another interesting thing - read the biography on the painter Donald Pass (especially under "Early Visions"):
Donald Pass
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopediaDonald Pass (9 September 1930 – 3 December 2010) is a British painter whose art has been compared to that of William Blake by a reviewer in an Oxford newspaper, among others. He is known for work based on a vision he experienced, which has been interpreted as the Resurrection of the Dead. His work is found in museums and private collections in Europe, the United States, and Australia.
Education
Donald Pass was educated on Stoke-on-Trent Regional College of Art (1947–1950) and the Royal Academy Schools in London (1951–1954).
Early Visions
At a young age, Donald Pass saw an angel with a lion's head at a roadside hedge. Later, while working in London as a painter, he saw through the window "a beautiful face which appeared to be all gold. It seemed to expand through the window and embrace the whole room." [1]
Huh. Right?
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