September 13, 2012

Rice is nice

I'm a confusing person to live with. I come with rules. Systems. "If this...then that"s. And for the life of him, Rob can't figure out my dishcloth system. You know, the system that has rules like "only use the kitchen dishcloth for food-related things" and "you must rinse and hang the dishcloth after using it as (for some strange, unknown reason) it won't dry when left in a soaked heap in the corner of the sink."

It is a mystifying and confusing system.

So we end up having conversations like this:
 Rob: I'm never sure...what do you want me to clean my elliptical with? The dishcloth?
Cob: [stony silence]....really?....

Rob: Don't get mad, but should I use the dishcloth to wash down the car floor mats?
Cob: [stony silence]....really?....

Rob: I don't get your rules - can I use the dishcloth to wipe up the cat throw up?
Cob: [stony silence]....really?....

So here I am, getting ready to rinse cereal out of bowls this morning, and I look closely at the wadded-up (still soaking in a corner of the sink) dishrag, and I start huffing about how Rob didn't rinse any of the rice out of the rag the last time he used it the night before.

I mean, it was chalk FULL of rice. Gross. And to top it off, the sink was caked with bloated little rice bits, too.

So I rinse and rinse...and there's not a lot of rice coming off. So of course I get more huffy and smush it all with my hands harder and harder under the faucet.

And then I stop for a moment, because I suddenly realize I haven't made rice in weeks.

With horrified dread, I slowly look around the counters, my eyes coming to rest on a porch light innocently sitting three feet away. A porch light Rob had removed the previous night in order to change a light bulb. A porch light that had been recently rinsed.

I think my heart might have actually stopped for a moment.

Not daring to breathe, I peer closely at the dishcloth and realize the rice grains caking the entire thing have eyes. Yes, eyes.

New rule to the dishcloth system, Rob: no insect larvae.


Panoramic Playground said...

Blech! So gross, I think I would have hurled. Way to go, keeping your composure. What is it with the dudes not finding their own washcloths for stuff? Oh well, at least he cleaned the porch light, right? :D

cobandrob said...

I am ashamed to admit I never considered the "at least he cleaned the porch light" angle until it was pointed out to me. This is so true! haha! For what it's worth, even amid his confusion in attempting to navigate through my oh-so-(but not really at all)-confusing sets of rules, Rob is such a champ at making himself useful with both the kids and the house. I now need a new dishrag (as the other is now writhing in the trash), but I have a clean front porch light. :)