November 09, 2011

There's no use crying over spilt milk...

Picture sitting fees day, 3 weeks ago: When I pay my $5 for the sitting fee at the preschool's kiosk, I am on the phone (or in other words, talking way too loudly and not paying attention).

Picture day, 2 weeks ago: Jannika goes to preschool in a cute brown dress with a pair of brown converse (er...probably male...and most definitively 25-cents at a garage sale) shoes. She looked so perfectly cute in a "so Jannika" kinda way. I knew the shoes wouldn't show, but it made the whole outfit for me - I would know each time I looked at her headshot. (And that's who's truly important here, obviously.)

Picture pickup day, yesterday: The lady hands me Jannika's envelope, and I pull out the packet of photos. And there Jannika is, smiling sweetly. Except this is no school headshot.

She's in some fake woods, by a fake stream. (Well...okay. Not totally weird. But surprising.)

In a pink, all lace, baggy enough for a 10-year-old, circa 1989 dress.


Oh, and with a huge hat on her head that completely covered her hair and obscured part of her eyes. (Imagine my I-hate-Precious-Moments-figurines dismay here.)

And she was fishing.

My first thought: Oh. my. word. These are horrible. My almost immediate second thought: Bahahaha! I have to get a shot with my phone somehow so I can show Rob. And as I'm fumbling with my phone (and looking very guilty), the photo lady comes over to interrupt my clear attempts to make an unauthorized copy of her masterpiece.

Okay, so you know when babies are born and the hospital takes photos and then goes around charging obscene prices to emotionally-vulnerable parents for these shots? They came to Rob and I with Jannika's shot, and I took one look the photo, burst out laughing, and handed the packet back to the lady with a "Ah ha ha! No thanks." Rob (apparently the only emotionally-vulnerable parent) jumped in and intercepted, shelling out quite a bit of money for a 8x10 that I still laugh at to this day.

So as I'm at preschool, holding this lacy-pink pastoral shot from the 80s, I remember Jannika's birth photo (I was going to say "lesson" here, but I'm not sure it was a "lesson in occasionally being an emotionally-vulnerable parent" as much as it was a "lesson that buying funny shots of your kids is sometimes 100% worth it"). So I ask how much the envelope is (which contains a big shot, a few mediums, and a few sheets of wallets), and the lady points to a pricing chart. It was close to EIGHTY DOLLARS. For preschool school photos. What??

I held strong. I did not cave. Jannika went into this photo shoot wearing 25-cent shoes, for goodness sake.

But I feel as though I need to still provide some visual here.

I couldn't figure out how to add a soft, romantic haze in Photoshop. Just squint your eyes a bit and you'll get the gist.
(My mad skills in Photoshop are impressive....)

I emailed my friend Miranda, whose son also goes to Jannika's preschool, asking if they changed her son's clothes for the school photo (and wanting to secretly send out a probe to see if I was the only horrible mom who didn't buy anything). Turns out she was actually paying attention at the photo kiosk, saw the sample shots, and thought they were "so dorky" (her words, not mine - see? I'm not the only hater) she didn't even pay to have them taken in the first place.

Now that's a good mom. Miranda pointed out she now had $5 for an extra run to Sonic. Meanwhile, I just can't get over this feeling that my wasted $5 sitting fee somehow increased the price of those garage sale shoes to $5.25. DANG IT.

1 comment:

Susan said...

Coby, You're not alone. There are lots of us out here who have a similar gag reaction to the precious moments market. And I'm glad you resisted the post-partum pressure to purchase pictures of your newborn. I, too, was appalled by the cost, refused the pics, and wondered how these sharks had made it into the nursery. The candid shots by friends and relatives are always better (and cost about the same as garage sale shoes!)