July 18, 2011

Married female, 32, seeks yearly non-husband compliment

While making a 4-minute paint tray liner run at Walmart Saturday, some guy standing in line behind me leans over a murmurs, "You look way too hot to be painting without a guy's help." Startled out of my I think I should maybe start with the far wall...I hope I can get two walls done by tonight...I wonder if I wrapped my paint brush in saran before I left reverie, I turned and looked blankly at the younger but fairly good looking guy smiling at me. I automatically smiled while my old brain wheezed and puffed trying to change gears and began to process what he said. WAIT. DID HE JUST HIT ON ME?

The last time I was hit on was, seriously, a year ago. And that was by some short, older guy from Switzerland at a piano bar who asked me to dance while I was on my way back from the bathroom. And may I point out here that there was no one else dancing. So while I gracefully tried to remove myself away from him and back to the table my husband was sitting at, the main piano player stopped all music and called the guy up on stage for the audience to give him props for having the cojones to pick up a girl "way out of his league." And then he called me up on stage to give the guy a second chance. And played a special song for us to dance to. Yep.

I mean, I was on a someone thinks I'm awesome high when a mom at the library asked for my number to do a play date sometime.

So it's not until I'm walking out of Walmart with my paint trays that I realize that with my high ponytail, white (albeit splattered with paint) wife beater and short rolled-down (to make them shorter) shorts (because our normally hot house feels almost unbearable while painting - I start sweating in the 81 degrees when I unload the dishwasher, for goodness sake), I probably looked like a tawdry sorority girl, just minus the red plastic drink cup. And it certainly didn't help that I left my wedding ring on the counter, lying next to the paint can.

But I'll take it. I mean, Rob flirts with me, but, see, he has to - we're married. It's just nice to occasionally be reminded that someone else of the male persuasion finds you attractive, whether he be an old, short Swiss or a 10-years-your-junior frat boy. Well, back to my library moms for another year.

1 comment:

Shwerther said...

Your posts are hilarious; thanks for including me in your circle of friends. Perhaps we could do a play date at the hardware store some day ...