July 15, 2011

Don't coffee me!!

There are certain words that are so beautifully misused by Jannika that I can't bear to correct them.

coffee - verb
As in "Silas, don't coffee me!! Stop saying what I'm saying! STOP!" [Silas, smirking, "TOP!"] "STOP!!" [Silas, "TOP!"] "I SAID DON'T COFFEE ME!"

buffet - noun
As in "Mom, know what my favorite thing at McDonalds is? A buffet." [Me, after a confused pause, "...huh."] "Mooom, you know! The fruit and yogurt buffet? With yogurt and strawberries and blueberries?" [Me, "Ahhhh, the buffet. Good choice."]

snack - verb
As in "I just can't snack my fingers. I keep practicing, but it's just not working." [Me, "...huh."] "Mooom, snacking! You know! Where you snack your fingers to the beat?" [Me, "Ahhhh, snacking. Yup, it's hard work to learn that one."]

And I realize that at some point she will face ridicule for these awesome variations; however, I personally find them funny enough that I haven't made much of an effort to correct her. She'll learn. Eventually. (Although now I'm thinking of the fact that it took 20 years of my brother's life to realize it was Christmas ornaments, not Christmas ordaments. My profuse laughter then and the following 10-year span of teasing jokes from me has probably scarred him for life...)

The best example of this, however, happened when my sister Jane found my little brother Jack crying profusely in his room last summer. No one knew what had happened, so Jane sat with him awhile, trying to coax him into talking. Finally, a tear-streaked face emerged from the pillow, and with a sob, he cried, "I said a bad word!" And Jane, intensely curious, told him he wouldn't get in trouble if he would tell her what he'd said. Jack, still sobbing, choked out, "Well, I can't say, but it begins with the letter P." And Jane, still unsure, asked him again for the word. After another ten minutes of crying, Jack sat up, cupped his hand around Jane's ear and tearfully whispered, "PAGINA."

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