Jannika, crawling into our full sized hotel bed and whispering: Mom, I’m awake. Mom! Mom! Where’s your phone? Can I play with your phone?
Me, struggling to come to consciousness and whispering: Mmm…what? Check under my pillow.
Fire detector not whispering: Beep.
Jannika, whispering: Can’t find it. Hey, dad has it! [crawls on top of my body] Dad, whacha playing? Can I have the phone? I want the phone.
Rob, whispering: Nope, I’m checking scores. You’ll have to wait.
Fire detector: Beep.
Jannika, not so much whispering: Okay. Mom, dad says he’ll give me the phone when he’s done. Watch this – your chest bones squish when I put my knees on them. Okay, I’ll get off. Bones are so strong. Would they blow away if they were in front of two fans? Good thing I drink milk and eat apples, huh? Would they blow away if they were in front of three fans?
Me, squished, hot, and desperately trying to continue sleeping, whispering: No, unless the fans were huge. Rob, what time is it?
Fire detector: Beep.
Rob, whispering: 5:55.
Me, not so much whispering: Oh my word. And you can’t give her the phone so I can sleep?
Rob, whispering: I’m checking scores!
Jannika, whispering: Dad, you almost done? It’s been so long. Silas is going to be awake when you’re finally done! Look, when I lift the curtain, you can see beautiful lights!
Smoke detector: Beep.
Me, getting blasted in the face with a glowing Hampton Inn sign next door: Yep, beautiful. Rob, give her the phone.
Rob hands Jannika the phone, then drapes half of his huge self onto already sweaty me to snuggle. I lie there for two minutes with Jannika fully pressed up on one side of me and the rest of my body pinned down by Rob, pretending to myself that I can continue sleeping if I just try hard enough.
Smoke detector: Beep.
Rob, whispering in my ear: I paid $5 extra for that, you know.
Unable to stand it any longer, I remove all sweaty limbs from my body and claim I have to use the bathroom the bathroom with the non-working light, then silently creep into Jannika’s abandoned bed…only to lie there completely awake…
Karma woke up early enough to take revenge on the $38 we spent through Priceline on this dang room and the sense of "we totally cheated this hotel and got away with it!" in which we were reveling.
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