December 06, 2013

Shake Djibouti: An Idiot's Guide to Teaching your Children Geography

How to force-feed gently encourage your kids to be violent, regurgitating robots to learn geography:

Step 1. Marry Rob.

Step 2. Endure 5 years of Rob's thinly-veiled disgust that you did not know the West Indies was synonymous with the Caribbean and that the map in your brain placed the West Indies somewhere, oh, just west of India?

Step 3. Produce heirs. Pray they'll distract him from his more recent discovery that you're (still...even now) unsure of the difference between Great Britain and the United Kingdom.

Step 4. Grant him his lifelong dream: A Giant Wall Map. Pretend not to notice the shimmer of joy in his eye and his somewhat creepy map caresses when you first hang it.

Step 5. Allow him access to your children's tender emotional states and give him leave to turn your sweet, sweet children into savage geography monsters, pitting them against one other in a fiercely bloody competition complete with screaming, occasional body pounding and kicking, and nightly crying.

Step 6. Take a video for posterity's sake. And then leave before you accidentally learn something.

Want more of Rob?
Or just click the "Rob the Husband" label to the can read all day. All. Day.
Merry Christmas.

No comments: